Well I have some good news. I have been troubled for some time now, possibly months, about what direction I want to go in life and if for my major I want to pursue science or art. It has been astrophysics or fashion design for some time now though I know that if I went with art I would still keep my study of math my current long term goal that I have had since my junior year of highschool when the math was first introduced to me is to eventually fully understand chaos math. I am sure I will have loftier goals as I get farther. It was also this math that inspired one of the clans in one of the fiction/fantasy projects I am working on. This brings up another problem with my direction in the last year and a half. Writing. I originally considered going to school for writing, either to be a fiction writer or journalist, but decided against this as I thought that pursuing something else would give me more material and life experience to draw from. In the last year and a half my writing and study of the subject has come to pretty much a stand still. Likewise my researching habits. I used to have a delicate balance of input and out put as I called it. Input is the collection of data, information, techniques, theories, skills, ideas, stories, etc. Basically input is things I learn. Output is the application of that new information, whether it be writing, pictures, drafted ideas, practicing a new skill or whatever fills the need to use the new information. This is some how very important to me as I feel my natural need to research and learn was one of the . . . I want to say dominating parts of who I was. Not to mention it was a part I enjoyed and was particularly proud of. Anyway back to the subject I am almost not writing at all. And this depresses me. I will have writing spasms now and then but they are sometimes months apart. Perhaps I should start using my writing journal again and write for 10 minutes every day to get back into the mode. On the subject of art and not the written kind, I love to work with my hands. To create thing. I doubt this will ever go away, not that I would want it to. I have created some interesting pieces of clothing in the past, including a dryad costume for the renaissance festival. I am particularly proud of this piece. And am always improving on the make up and tattooing that go with it, a reason why I prefer temporary tattoos. I have quiet a few projects on clothing and costumes planed, but I get no respectable progress done on them. This is something else I would like to change. Before I could complete an entire project in one week. So went my dilemma of what direction to go, be happy, and be able to support the family I will eventually have. This sums up most of everything. And so we arrive at today. I was at my boyfriend’s watching tv eating popcorn and thinking about the tea I was brewing when he changed the channel to a show I believe in called “The Universe.” This stole my attention, I was hooked. It reminded me of why I was pursuing science and math. So I will continue on that path with new hope and excitement. I will pick the rest as either hobbies or pillows. Doctrines of Astrophysics, here I come. Hell or high water the real work starts now. Thank you baby, I love you.
Take care everyone and good luck in finding and keeping your path.
Note the title of this post is borrowed from a nice webcomic, but I am not sure if it is ongoing or hiatus.